Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Technology, Social Media, and the Family

This post serves as a follow-up to a recent conversation in our church at our Next Gen Ministry's most recent Lunch and Learn called, "Technology, Social Media, and the Family."  Recent research shows that families are making technology more and more a part of their lives.  Our conversation was aimed at thinking through how families can navigate the role technology plays in our family dynamics.  More importantly, how do parents and families become good stewards of technology? And, how do we intentionally disconnect in order to grow in the discipline or rest or Sabbath?

Research:
Research on the consumption of media shows that parents are just as likely to be using technology as their kids.  In other words, technology affects family life because it's influencing the parents nearly as much as their children (Orange and Barna - Family Technology Report).

Are we addicted?  The average teen spends over 60 hours digesting media content in a week.  By the time a student is 21, he will have witnessed over 250,000 acts of violence and viewed over 2,000 hours of pornographic content.  47% of adolescents who are heavy media multi-tasters get C's or lower.  A recent study done by Abilene Christian University says 89% of students surveyed experience "phantom rings!"  I think I just got a text...let me check my phone in my pocket.

Ok, enough of the gloom and doom.  Technology in and of itself is not a bad thing.  Research shows that.  For our families and the church, I think the conversation needs to come from a place of stewardship and sabbath.

Some crucial questions:
  • Does technology help or hinder you from engaging your child?
  • How do you evaluate the quality of time you spend with your kids?
  • Do you think your kids would say you have a double standard when it comes to the consumption of technology in your home?
  • Is there a day or time each week when your family purposefully disconnects from technology?
  • Has technology become a crutch for disengaged parenting?
  • Are you setting appropriate limits for your teen as they use technology?
  • What boundaries do you need to set for yourself and your kids when they use technology?
  • How does technology affect your marriage?
Having a Family Plan:

 Jon Acuff says it like this...“The Bible is pretty clear about the exact age that you should give a kid a phone.  King David gave one to Solomon when he was 13.  Mary and Joseph gave Jesus one at 11, but  he was the Son of God, so he could probably handle the responsibility of an iPhone better than your kid.  If you add up these two ages and divide by 2 you get 12…so it’s really easy to figure that you can give your kid a phone when they turn 12."  So really, what's your plan?

How will you be a good steward of technology in your home and with your family?  If you don't have a "nuts and bolts" plan, chances are, the plan won't come to fruition.  Some basic ideas (with resources to follow):
  • Use a filtering software or contact your cell provider to see what limits you can intentionally place on your children's devices.
  • Keep the computer/devices in a central location.  Don't allow your teen to keep their cell phone in their room...Park them at night.
    • 95% of the young men I talk to who struggle with pornography do so because of the availability in which they find it through using their cell phones.  If your teen has unrestricted access to media or the internet you are basically handing them over to temptation.
  • Don't engage in problem solving or conflict resolution with your spouse or kids through text messages.  No winner there!
  • Have each member of your family sign a social media or cell phone agreement.
Important Resources:
I love technology and the newest and coolest gadgets.  Hear me again, technology isn't a bad thing.  It affords my mom opportunities to see her grandsons from hundreds of miles away.  It allows me to watch a Baylor football game on my phone in the airport!  It's awesome.  It can also keep me from really engaging my family and my faith.  That's why I have filtering software on my devices, we don't keep a computer at home, and why I put my phone on the nightstand each evening as soon as I get home.  What's the worst that can happen?  My kids feel me present in the home and teenagers call me an old man because I take so long to respond to texts.  They'll get over it...but my kids will never recover from a dad who was never really present.  That's why a conversation on the stewardship of technology is so crucial for us as we move forward!
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